Wish List

My initial thoughts on how would ideally like to spend time in India ..

Job Hunting

1. Help in making a good linkedin profile and emailing people.
2. Scout for full-time opportunities and get references.

Reading

1. Books on Current Affairs in India, problems and challenges facing the country,
2. Revise basic economics concepts - and try and use it to understand the financial crisis looming over the country.
   
3. Gosho - haven't set a target as yet. Sensei's guidance - Human revolution.

Technical Skills

1. Algorithms - TopCoder problems, Career Cup problems
2. Programming - Python, jQuery, JavaScript
3. Art of Computer Programming, Design Patterns, good  books on how to write good software 

Fitness

1. Insanity workout - complete once before coming back to NY

Photography

1. Learn a photo-editing software - Photoshop

Family

1. Visit everyone

After thoughts

Celebrated my best friends birthday in style! Great Indian food (very expensive though), adulterated alcohol (diluted beyond belief) and an hours journey to get back home at 4.30 in the morning.

The whole experience made me wonder if I should quit drinking. Something that I have been wondering for a long time now, is whether I really enjoy drinking or I do it just to avoid becoming a social outcast? Should I quit once and for all?

Felt like ripping that Halo off - do i have valid points or is it just my mind playing weird tricks on me, trying to comfort me by giving me reasons to justify my actions. I thought of having a confrontation but then held myself back. Will it change anything at all? Want to sit and chant to figure out if it is the wise thing to do.

Have become very very lazy when it comes to chanting - just as I am slapping the keyboard, I realize that I haven't done my evening Gongyo. Thinking is one thing and doing is it another. Its only people who actually do things really succeed in life, others simply don't go beyond thinking.

Plan to do a lot of reading during my extended break in India - want to expand my horizon of knowledge beyond the academic textbooks. Current affairs - India, Cultural Diversity, Autobiographies, improving analytical reasoning, work on my algo skills, photography, photo editing software.

People say  - its useless to make a plan on a vacation. But knowing myself and my MBTI personality type, I feel I achieve a lot more when I put down things in writing. I do not want to come back to NY with a feeling of regret at having wasted time in India. Time to jot down things ..

Selfishness

Why am I am so selfish? Why do I brush things aside, and hide it from people? Why do I feel so naked right now? Did someone show me the mirror? Did someone say something that I know about myself but never had the courage to confront? Why is it okay for me to hurt people? Why do I not think twice before sayings things? Why do I say things when I don't mean them? Why do i say something again and again - and try and make it true, but in reality it never will be. Why is it okay for me to judge people but feel so uncomfortable when someone else judges me? Why am i such a hypocrite? Why do I not want to think through things - Why do I look at ways to avoid being alone? Why do I seek people's company - is it just so that I don't have to be alone? Why do I want to forget things and get over them so fast? Is it only so that I go back to my daily life and never have to think about it again? Why do i cheat? Why am I so immoral? Why do I lie? Why am i so scared to face such things? Why do i need someone else to come and show me the mirror? Why do I fear losing things? Why do I hate being the bad one in peoples eyes? Why do I always want to look good in front of people? Why do I look at ways to please people? Do I think about what I really want - ever? Do I always think about what others might think is good to have and make the same judgement for myself? Where I am in life right now - Is it because of what I wanted or only because of what people around me wanted me to become? Why am I such a coward? Why can't I think for myself ? Why am I so lazy mentally? Why? Why? Why? - First time in your life .. you better start thinking.

Your time will come.

Better late than never!